‘People wondered why I was taking my daughter to a country at war. But I’m an optimist – I’m convinced everything will be fine for us!’

Across the ocean, Oksana, then 29, was trying to escape a prolonged depression brought on by the loss of her beloved job, a long-term relationship, and everything she had built up until then.

“Shortly before my life fell to pieces, I was lucky enough to get a US visa. Sometimes I still wonder how someone with a blank passport, who had never travel abroad, managed to get one on the first attempt… It must have been written in the stars. At the time, I was going through an incredibly difficult period – relocating with no money and no belongings. At one point, I caught myself thinking that I had to do something. I remembered my visa and searched online for job ads. There were many offers to work as a hotel maid, but to me, a philologist, that seemed too difficult. The only other vacancy was for a nanny. I loved children, so I applied. The family from the ad invited me over. They were a young couple – she was Ukrainian, he was American. And just like that, I left everything behind and flew to the US with dreams and hopes for a new life,” Oksana says.

She remembers that job as being very difficult, although she admits she grew deeply attached to her employers’ daughter.

“Since I lived with the family, my job was 24/7. There were practically no days off. I spent all my time with the child. Yes, they took me everywhere they flew. I was even in Hawaii, but vacationing there is one thing, and working is completely different. Eventually, my mental state worsened so much that I decided to change the direction of my life again,” the woman continues.

“Rochester is a city with a very active Ukrainian diaspora. I felt much better here because my English was very poor, so being able to speak my native language gave me a bit of confidence. At first, I worked in a small restaurant, and then in a Ukrainian shop,” Oksana recalls.

It was in Rochester that she met her future husband, who is also Ukrainian.

“Since my earnings were not very high, I had to save on everything, and first and foremost on rent. And it was during a house hunt that I saw him for the first time. He was a stocky guy with a beard. He happened to be renting one of the rooms in the house I was being shown. But I got scared of having to live under the same roof with such a stranger, so I refused,” the woman says.

A few weeks later, that very same stocky man walked into the shop where Oksana was working. A brief conversation eventually grew into a relationship, marriage, and the birth of their daughter, Milana.

“And then came another difficult period. Romance gave way to the daily family grind, and we were short of money again because I was on maternity leave, while my husband was constantly exhausted from working so much. Then came one move, followed by a second. Eventually, we ended up in a town where there were no Ukrainians. No friends either. My little daughter and I only had each other. My husband would be away on business trips for months at a time,” Oksana shares.

When my daughter grew up enough to start attending kindergarten, I decided to look for a job.

“But there was another equally serious problem: in the States, public transport as such doesn’t really exist. You either drive or take a taxi. I didn’t have a car. The kindergarten was quite far away. I had to find a way to manage: I saved money on the groceries that my husband gave me and called a taxi to take my daughter to the nursery. I would walk back, rushing to get to work,” the woman continues her story.

“He figured everything out—that I was doing it to save money. Chris offered to charge me only half the fare. It was completely unexpected for me. Once, when Milana ended up in the hospital and I had to stay with her around the clock, he was the only person I could turn to look after our cat, who was locked in the apartment. I gave the keys to what was practically a stranger, but in reality, he had become very close to us. Chris also visited us in the hospital and cared for us. When Russia attacked Ukraine in February, he was deeply worried about our people, supporting us and rooting for us,” Oksana recalls warmly.

“I wasn’t afraid to come back. I was more afraid of spending another part of my life outside Ukraine. Neither my family nor my friends understood my decision. They wondered why I was bringing my daughter to a country at war. But I’m an optimist—I’m convinced that everything will be fine for us. You know, a couple of years ago, when I had more or less got back on my feet in America, I invested some money into building an apartment near Lviv. People didn’t understand me back then either, but I would tell them that I believe in Ukraine and its future,” Oksana says.

The other day, the mother and daughter attended a workshop on Petrykivka painting. The woman admits she was captivated by the class, which also reminded her of the opportunities that still exist in Ukraine, despite the fact that its cities are constantly under attack by Russian drones and missiles.

“In America, any kind of extracurricular activities, for both children and adults, cost money. But here… there are plenty of opportunities, and they are free. I’ve signed Milana up for various classes, including acting—it will help her improve her communication skills,” the woman believes, adding that she plans to pursue a new career as a designer. “I recently finished my studies. I’ve always been drawn to the creative side of things. More than anything, I dream of renovating my parents’ homestead in a village in the Lviv region—there are these small, traditional cottages left by my grandparents… Maybe I can turn it into a museum to preserve its authenticity. And if I don’t finish it, Milana will carry it on.” 

The project “Strengthening Community Resilience for Return and Reintegration” is carried out by the Rokada Charitable Foundation as part of the “YOUA — Shaping New Paths, Building the Future of Ukraine” project, commissioned by the German Government and implemented by GIZ Ukraine: Sustainable Economic Development.

The YOUA project provides technical assistance only and does not influence individuals’ personal decisions regarding their return to Ukraine. Participation in activities and the use of services are strictly voluntary and open to individuals who are considering returning, have already made the decision to do so, or are currently undergoing reintegration after returning to Ukraine.